“MY LAVENDER BAY PLUMBER ARRIVED ALL WET. I’M TAKING THAT AS A GOOD SIGN.”

Let me paint you a picture.

It’s a Tuesday morning in Lavender Bay. The sun is shining. The harbour is sparkling. Your toilet is making a gurgling sound that suggests it’s either dying or trying to communicate with aliens. You’ve called a plumber. He said he’d be there by 10am.

At 10:07am, the doorbell rings. You open it.

Standing before you is a man who looks like he just swam the length of the harbour. His shirt is plastered to his chest. His hair is dripping. Water is pooling around his steel-capped boots. He’s holding a tool bag that is also dripping. A small puddle is forming on your doormat. He looks like a drowned rat who once knew what it was like to be dry.

He smiles. It’s a very wet smile.

“Morning!” he says cheerfully. “Sorry about the state of me. Previous customer.”

You blink. You look at the harbour. You look at him. You look at the harbour again. You’re about to ask if he fell in, but before you can, he adds:

“She made me watch her shower.”

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There’s a long pause. Your brain, which has been through a lot this morning, short-circuits.

“I’m sorry,” you say, very slowly. “She… made you?”

“Made me,” he nods, water flicking from his hair like a particularly sad sprinkler. “Had a leak in the shower head. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drove her crazy for three weeks. She wanted me to see it in action. Wouldn’t take my word for it. Made me stand there while she demonstrated. With the water running. With her in it.”

You’re not sure where to look. You’re not sure where to stand. You’re not sure if this is a confession or a complaint.

“She was fully clothed, of course,” he adds quickly. “Well, mostly clothed. She had a shower cap on. And a bathrobe. But the water was going everywhere. She was pointing at the drip. Waving her arms. Very enthusiastic. I had to lean in to see the pipe joint. Got absolutely drenched. She kept saying, ‘See? See? It’s right there!’ And I’m like, ‘Yes, madam, I see it, I believe you, please stop demonstrating!'”

You look at him. He’s still smiling. He seems genuinely unbothered by the fact that he has just been waterboarded by a Lavender Bay resident.

The Logic Kicks In

Now, here’s the thing about Lavender Bay. It’s a suburb of enthusiastic homeowners. People here care. They care deeply. They care about their harbour views, their heritage facades, and yes, their shower drips. If a drop of water falls where it shouldn’t, it’s not just a maintenance issue—it’s a philosophical crisis.

So when this plumber tells you his previous client made him watch her shower, you don’t think, That’s weird. You think, That’s Lavender Bay. You think, She probably had a mood board for the shower renovation. She definitely had a Pinterest folder. She absolutely made him watch the demonstration because she didn’t trust that he understood the severity of the situation.

And you think: This plumber let her do it. He stood there. He watched. He got soaked. And he didn’t complain. He came straight to my house, dripping wet, and he’s still smiling.

That’s not a red flag. That’s a green flag. That’s a man who takes his job seriously. That’s a man who understands that sometimes, you have to get wet to get the job done.

The Benefits of a Wet Plumber

Let me explain why this is actually a good thing.

1. He’s not afraid of water. This is a plumber. Water is his mortal enemy and his best friend. A plumber who arrives soaking wet is a plumber who has embraced the elements. He’s not going to flinch when your pipe bursts. He’s not going to run screaming from a flooded laundry. He’s been through worse. He’s been through Lavender Bay shower demonstrations.

2. He’s patient. His previous customer made him stand there while she showered in a bathrobe. He didn’t leave. He didn’t get annoyed. He leaned in. He inspected the drip. He got drenched. He did it with a smile. This man has the patience of a saint and the tolerance of a Buddhist monk. Your plumbing problems are nothing compared to what he’s already endured.

3. He’s a good listener. She said, “Watch the drip.” He watched the drip. He didn’t argue. He didn’t say, “I’ll take your word for it.” He watched. He learned. He got wet. This is a plumber who listens to his clients, even when his clients are a bit… eccentric.

The Bill

When he finally fixes your toilet—which he does quickly and competently, because he’s a professional who has been drenched by worse—he hands you the invoice.

You scan it. The charges are reasonable. Labour. Parts. Travel. Then you see it.

Shower demonstration surcharge (previous client): $0

You look up. He shrugs. “Didn’t charge her,” he says. “Felt bad for the bathrobe.”

You laugh. You actually laugh. And as he walks out the door, still slightly damp, you think to yourself: This is the best plumber I’ve ever hired.

The Verdict

You know you have a good Lavender Bay plumber when he arrives soaking wet, explains it was because a previous customer made him watch them shower, and you don’t run screaming.

You know you have a great Lavender Bay plumber when you tip him extra for the story.

Because let’s face it—you’re going to be telling this one at dinner parties for years. And every time you do, you’ll raise a glass to that plumber. The one who got wet so you could stay dry.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check my shower. Just in case. And I’m definitely going to make sure I’m fully clothed when the plumber arrives.

Lavender Bay, ladies and gentlemen. Never a dull moment.

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